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Large a town and after joining a group who called themselves the “New Age” she moved to a small terrace cottage in Tigley near Dartington.

Each of her moves involved her loosing out on the deal of selling and buying each property and as she did not go out to work for she had the children to look after. Pamela had to help her in the costs involved. I tried to reason with her and advise her not to keep selling and buying houses at a loss but she was a very stubborn girl and this caused us both a lot of heartache. Poor Clare so desperately wanted to know why we are all here. In her own way she was searching and trying to find out the answer to that same puzzle I was working on. What was God and the world all about.        

She had hoped this New Age group could help her and had decided to ignore the doctor’s advice for the treatment of her cancer. She bought lots of books on the subject and set herself a strict “Vegetarion diet” to cure her complaint within twelve months she woke up one night sitting in a pool of blood. She was rushed to Torquay Hospital where they rushed her in for Radiation treatment. Amazingly this cleared her immediate problem but it was too late to stop the cancer which had now moved into the rest of her body. In a few months it found her lungs but the doctors acted quickly and radiation treatment cleared the growth. A few months later she realised she had a growth on her head and soon this worked it’s way through her skull. Again Radiation treatment brought her back to reasonable health but after this treatment she was warned that the hospital could not administer further radiation treatment as she had already had more than her safe dose.

Again she had a few month respite before it raised it’s ugly head again this time it returned to her chest.

I knew how serious Clare’s illness was for a very old friend Doctor Jill Calderwood had been giving me advice since Clare first became ill. Clare still hoped the vegetarian diet would cure her. Pamela and I realised how bad things were and I spoke to Sophie our youngest grand daughter {who was about five at this time} for I knew she would comfort my fears and doubts for the future. She knew her Aunt was very ill and she knew the meaning of love and clearly was a personnel friend and helper of her maker! She knew that Clare was dying long before it happened or before we thought such a thing could happen when she said “I bet Aunty Clare gets into heaven for this. I think she did too!

In some ways the idea of collective worship gores against my sense of private conversation with God. As for going to church that seems propsterous, after all if God wasn’t everywhere, he wasn’t anywhere! Though I am still a weekly church goer I find talking to our maker does not require it. Once we have the message it is up to us to do something about it.

During the April showers we had during the time that Clare was so ill I talked with Sophie and my other grandson Andrew about the colours of the spectrum and how white light is made up of all the colours of the colours and how rain drops act as prisms and can separate the sun light into all the rainbow colours. We talked how a daffodil absorbs all the colours of the sunlight with the exception of Yellow which it reflected back to us. We saw only Yellow.

To Sophie, she saw yellow as the colour the flower does not want! So it’s real colour is all the bits it does want!!. I couldn’t argue with that. To Sophie we are all issued at birth with various bits of coloured glass which all have their own label: Good;

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