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Bad; Nasty etc. People get into the habit of slipping these bits of glass over their inward eye and seeing things according to the colour and label on the glass.

According to Sophie, people do this in order to justify their inner convictions. But God is a bit different to a flow. God wants everything, so doesn’t reflect anything back, that’s why we cannot see him. We can cheat if we want to, we can wear a bit of glass marked “God is loving” or God is kind but then we miss his nature. For God to be real we need to throw away our pieces of glass and see clearly. The fact that Old Nick is busy turning these coloured glasses outr by the million makes things a bit difficult at times but that is the way of things.

Most people are lucky if they ever discover the world in which we live but I have found my children have already discovered unnumbered worlds and shown me what heaven is all about. Most of an angel is in the inside and most of a person is on the outside.

So from all this preaching what I am trying to say is take this life which God has given us, try in everything we do to give, NOT take, and in giving we will find we will receive so much more. This I have found true from experience.

Some two months before Clare died she wrote me a most terrible letter, it was full of hate, it really broke my heart but I realised it was her way of getting the hate and anger of her cancer out of her system. I unfortunately was her easy target. At the time I did not know what to do. I naturally talked it over with Pamela and my children John and Anne asking for help, what should I do.

Anne suggested I write some cards to Clare ignoring her letter but telling her how we loved her and how I cared and would always be here to help her in need. I did just that and over the next two months sent at least three cards a week some so full of love and pouring out my heart they must have seemed like love letters!

It worked for a week before she died she send me another letter in which she said she loved me and thanked me for writing she finished her letter saying I was 95% forgiven. A week later we were telephoned by the hospital to come at once for the cancer was now in her lungs and the hospital could no longer given her any more radiation treatment. We drove at once to Toquay but had difficulty in getting into her small private room for there were about 25 New Age people sitting around and on her bed meditating for her.

Pamela and I could not talk with her so I waited outside an hour later Pamela came and asked me to go in again. Clare was sitting up and smiled as our eyes met. I thanked her for her letter. She had let the shawl; she had covering her head, drop down and it revealed that she had lost all her lovely hair. She had always let it grow long way past her waist.

We just looked at each other and Clare said “Why don’t you smile Dad?” and I replied because your letter to me only forgave me 95% I want that other 5%. At that moment her face which till now had been smiling though it was grey and was looking so sick; beamed into a huge smile. Pain flickered across her eyes but was chased by a grin that slowly blossomed all over her poor face. It was the grin that came and filled her eyes that shone like stars as she said, almost shouted: “You have it Dad all and more. You have 1000% forgiveness. We all laughed till tears ran down our faces. All the trials, all the sadness of the past years had been wiped away. Everything was worth while we were one again.

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